The Anti-Lunchable

In case you're wondering what is wrong with American diet it is high fructose corn syrup, the ultimate evil of processed food. A staple in our so-called grocery stores.

It simply doesn't digest, and what does digest is pure sugar. Try this at your next campfire -- see what happens when your marshmallow falls into the fire. The dog gone thing doesn't burn. It turns into a miniature molten lava volcano and implodes over and over. When we make schmores at our house, I rejoice in every lost marshmallow.

Wouldn't it be great if they sent peace corps workers from, say, Honduras or some other un- processed country to teach us how to eat real food, instead of the fake stuff. Send us foreign food specialists. Small scale development workers. United Nations staff. International non profit experts. Missionaries. Anybody. . .just save us from our bad "food." Give me a cow and I promise to give my neighbor its calf. Chicken's are legal in Des Moines.

Aidan loves those lunchable things. I hate them, but I let him eat one about once a month because it is such a source of pure delight for him. Since I no longer ask why; I ask what is it about the lunchable that he loves; besides the inhuman amounts of sugar and salt; besides the fact that it has no actual food in it.

I think the reason he likes it is because of the little compartments with portions of variety. It's like those tricky cereal boxes with a toy inside. Bad food company. Bad. Bad.

I can do that. I am now marketing the Momchable. A cute lunch with a variety of the healthiest stuff that Aidan can bear. Raisins. Fiber One bars. Juice. Baked chips. Peanut butter and jelly. And one teeny, tiny piece of candy. A small batman figurine. A short mad lib.

It was a big hit, I'm pleased to say. The only snafu is that the week's worth of teeny, tiny candy's are all gone and neither my daughter nor my husband are fessing up. Any judges out there?

As you can see, I have a big beef with what is passed off as food. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. More to come sometime later. Really, what I wanted to do is to share the little victory of the Momchable, because Aidan asked for another one for tomorrow.

Aidan also noticed how I cooled off in the pool with a late night beer. Not a lot of nutrition in that bottle, I suppose, but that's another subject.

Thanks so much for coming over. Take care.

With love, T