Lutheran Pastor Doubles as Sugar Daddy

If they served beer in church, we would have cried over it instead of our coffee. We were lamenting our lack-o-income, me and my friend, Mary. We ladies who are so talented, creative, intelligent, likeable, and so on.

There's a bright side to this, Mary assured me. At least we have our sugar daddies.

True. I never depended on a sugar daddy before and come to think of it, it's not all bad. How else could I write brilliant blog postings such as this? Interdependency is good, I keep thinking over and over. Independence is a myth. If you think you're self sufficient . . . I hope you never find out first hand how absolutely dependent you are.

Meanwhile, I was chatting with another friend in another city -- another Mary by chance -- and I proposed the idea of having a sugar daddy Lutheran pastor. This Mary is also starting a masters program and has her own ordained household bread-winner. As long as our congregation doesn't leave the ELCA, she said with half a laugh and half a no-laugh. Apparently her church is one with voices who threaten to leave the ELCA because of the recent sexuality vote.

Sometimes when Bob and I look bleary-eyed at our long list of bills I remind him, Hey, at least I got myself a sugar daddy! And there's just enough machismo in him to actually like this idea and the outgoing cash flow doesn't seem so bad.

On behalf of all of us who depend on Lutheran pastor sugar daddies, I ask the dissatisfied to please find another way to express your disapproval of the vote than by leaving the ELCA. Not only would it be very sad to separate, but your pastors and their families won't have an income, pension, housing allowance, and all the benefits that come from group membership. Aside from my selfish interests, I ask you, do you really want to join a denomination whose membership is based on the indignity of others? Let's work this out.

And to all of you who are sugar daddies in one way or another to someone who needs you: THANKS.

To my friend, Mary, who is by now totally mortified by this posting: muah. I'll pay you back with a round of liquid spirit to you and your sugar daddy. xoxox

Thanks for coming over to the Charmer Blog.

With love, T